ay yi yi

I can’t remember when my dad began to say this phrase.

I know it’s connected with getting older
because I never heard him say it when he was younger
now he never stops

when he’s frustrated usually related with the internet.
ay yi yi

amazed at some old technology that he’s experienced for the first time
ay yi yi

a way in which a woman dresses
ay yi yi

something the pastor said in church
ay yi yi

conversations with dad July 9, 2019

We met on a Tuesday, we missed last Sunday becuase my wife was getting over a very bad cold.

He tells me be careful with I am statements.

Don’t say you’re a failure.
Don’t say I am a failure
he warns me this is dangerous
I tell him I have to be honest with myself
everyone is trying to pass the blame on to everything one and thing else
they never take the blame themselves.

He says, you can say it was a failure but that doesn’t make you a failure.
I say it does when it’s my fault

back and forth
until we both quit
I got the last word in
trust me
it doesn’t make a difference
we just view failure differently.

dont be a lazy writer

Don’t ever be a
lazy writer
there is no excuse

I’ll tell ya what I mean by that

seconds before i began writing this
my keyboard was pushed
                                                           back
away from the front edge of my keyboard tray
I did this so i could easily write in my notebook
my original intentions were to reach over my notebook

s  t  r    e     t     c    h

and type
but then i thought
is that really the best way?
wouldn’t it be easier to
lift my notebook up and place it on my desk
pull my keyboard forward
so that when typing
my hands don’t cramp

i was right
it is

i closed the book

I’m reading can’t and won’t stories by Lydia Davis.

Everything was going great
I was turning the pages with ease
enjoying every mundane word
this is significant to point out since
it’s difficult for me to read
I’m dyslexic
It’s hard for me to focus
That’s why I like short and to the point.

Like I said
everything was going great until
I came upon a story that was
four and half pages long

I panicked

Wasn’t sure if I was ready to take it on

Overwhelmed

I jammed the marker in the narrow valley of the pages and
closed the book.

when you finally write something you love…

I have been working on a short fictional memoir about building our dream house. I had been struggling for over a day, how to write about the ceiling and lighting. I remembered a documentary I watched about an architect. The words I wrote surprised me, made me feel great. It was a motivational reminder to never giving up. It came at the perfect time. Keep writing.